Be it ever so

I won’t have what she’s having.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

A few weeks ago, when working on an earlier post, I started to search the term “be it ever...”

This is what Google offered:

One of these is not like the others.

Speaking (sic) of heinous, there’s this unappetizing idiomatic reference to humility and humiliation:

Ewww.

In reality though, it does seem like many folks would rather chomp on deer innards than admit that they’re wrong, or mistaken. Apparently it’s not a new thing.

(From Wikipedia) Eating crow is a colloquial idiom,^[1] used in some English-speaking countries, that means humiliation by admitting having been proven wrong after taking a strong position.^[2]The crow is a carrion-eater that is presumably repulsive to eat in the same way that being proven wrong might be emotionally hard to swallow.^[2] The exact origin of the idiom is unknown, but it probably began with an American story published around 1850 about a dim-witted New York farmer.^[3]

Eating crow is of a family of idioms having to do with eating and being proven incorrect, such as to "eat dirt" and to "eat your hat" (or shoe), all probably originating from "to eat one's words", which first appears in print in 1571 in one of John Calvin's tracts, on Psalm 62: "God eateth not his words when he hath once spoken".^[2]

What is it with the reluctance to fess up? To admit one is wrong? Is apologizing a sign of weakness or of strength?

According to psychologist Molly Howes, it’s more than that: “When we don’t apologize, it creates so much waste: wasted connections, wasted opportunities to be close to people, and wasted energy in resentment, counterattack, and continuously justifying our own behavior. That’s tragic to me.”

Howes believes that apologies at the individual, organizational and even national level can heal wounds and help create more compassion and justice in the world. In her book, The Good Apology, Dr. Howes outlines the requirements of a true mea culpa: listen, sincerely take responsibility, make amends, and make changes to reduce future mistakes.

After all, everyone makes mistakes. To fail is human. And we humans love the stories of failure and redemption.

So fess up…it’s good for your soul. And then reward yourself with your favorite slice.