Standing up

And moving forward

Four years ago this week, I fell down.

I slipped on ice in our office parking lot and badly fractured both the tibia and fibula in my left leg. I now hold the honor of having broken the same leg three times: 1975, 1999 and 2022.

This last gasp occurred on a Friday morning, just before 9 am. We rented our office and ReStore space, and through use and landlord neglect, the parking lot often resembled a moonscape. This day it was strewn with ice filled potholes and rink-worthy icy patches.

After hitting the ground, I remember thinking, through the waves of intense, throbbing pain: “this is not good.” The parking lot was largely empty; except for a couple of vehicles at the far end of our low-slung metal building. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to hit the panic alarm on my car key. Eventually, someone driving by heard it, saw me, pulled up and called an ambulance. Two co-workers also came. It was cold. I asked them for blankets. I remember the blankets smelling musty.

Apparently, as later relayed by one of the colleagues (I have no recollection of of this), I kept my wits about me and calmly gave instructions to direct whatever was going on that day. I ended up being out of the office for two months.

Because of the severity of the trauma (and an intervening weekend), it took four days for the first surgery to occur, and then another week before the second and final round of fixing. In between, my leg was supported by an erector set to keep it stable and reduce the swelling. I now live with a permanent collection of titanium parts: rods, plate and screws as noted in the picture above.

The initial month, the first two weeks of which were spent in the hospital/rehab, were pretty awful. Being just post-Covid, the staff at the hospital and rehab center were negligent stretched thin. Getting assistance for my basic needs was a challenge. If not for the care and diligence of my beloved, it would have been even more horrific. I was bed- and wheelchair confined for the first month of recovery.

It could have been much worse. I had great support from family, friends and coworkers. I had good health insurance (it became a worker’s compensation claim) and all bills and needs were taken care of, if not immediately, then eventually. Having been through it before, I knew it would pass.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

I did pass and I healed. I am neither disfigured nor am I permanently disabled. The leg will never be back to what it was, and there are certain things (like walking 18 holes of golf; or power walking a few miles on hard surfaces) that I cannot now do. But I am ok with that. If not in love with my fate, I have come to a peace with it.

I share this story not to enlist sympathy, but as a reminder that we all face unexpected challenges. Daily. Some of them are small annoyances, some are much more impactful. Our attitude about these challenges largely determines their impact.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” - Marcus Aurelius

Studies show that attitude shapes behavior. They are often used synonymously, but attitude is a cognitive construct, shaped by internal and external influences. It is how we evaluate a situation. Behavior is an action; how we respond to our assessment of that situation. Attitude drives behavior, even if they are not always consistent nor correlated.

Attitudes are often, if not always, a learned tendency. They are shaped and formed. Thus, attitudes can be changed.

Far too many of us are captured by our attitudes: “we cannot make a difference; our voices don’t matter; our vote doesn’t count,” and lock in a negative outcome as a result.

For meaningful change to arise and hold, more of us need to view the current challenges as one that can be met, with a determined attitude if not a positive one. I see this happening.

More and more of us are pushing back on sociopathic behaviors and the negative biases of social media. They are changing their attitudes and their behaviors. They are protecting themselves and others.

Get up.

Join them.

Make the change we need.

Stand.

“How do you defeat terrorism? Don’t be terrorized.” - Salman Rushdie